The Language Compass, A tool For A Better Understanding Of Others
The language compass is using to remove obstacles that lead to incomprehension in a communication situation. The compass makes it possible to understand the motivations of the interlocutor, his vision of the world, and the elements which push him to think and speak as he does
The language compass is using to remove obstacles that lead to incomprehension in a communication situation. The compass makes it possible to understand the motivations of the interlocutor, his vision of the world, and the elements which push him to think and speak as he does.
The language compass is up of two parts:
Identification of the level of reality at which the interlocutor is located. Clarifying issues that avoid confrontation (in an interpersonal exchange) or drowning in our internal comments (in a monologue, automatic thoughts). The idea is to get in touch with the merits of the position supported by a person.
What is the language compass?
- The language compass can help us decipher the logic of an interlocutor. In her book From Desire to Pleasure to Change, Françoise Kourilsky lists the advantages of the language compass:
- Improve the quality of verbal information sent by our interlocutors.
- Bring the character back in effect with their experience by allowing them to be closer to what they are feeling and thinking in their verbal expression.
- Identify the distortions, selections, interpretations, assumptions, and generalizations that limit the representation of our interlocutor.
The four corners of the compass
All humans have a worldview. The latter covers our belief system, our scale of values, the basic assumptions and premises that guide us, the norms and rules that govern us, the evaluation criteria that underpin our judgments and decisions. The language compass takes the elements that form our vision of the world and organizes them schematically.
In the north of the compass is the knowledge factual, that is, how we perceive a situation with our senses and how we use our eyes and ears to verify the facts. Returning north allows for better interpersonal understanding as we can rely on shared objective and factual facts to continue the exchange.
To the south of the compass are subjective facts - that is, how we give our experiences an interpretation, meaning, or what assumptions or assumptions we make to make sense of the points.
To the west of the compass are the rules we state about ourselves, others, the world, and life.
To the east of the compass are judgments and ratings.
The questions in the second part of the compass explore the logic of constructing the interlocutor's reality. By relying on its criteria, we will offer it another meaning to broaden the field of its possibilities. It is better not to redirect a person's ideas before checking what bases - interpretations, rules, and judgments - are base on their ideas. It will be much more effective to bring a counterexample or a reframing after. We are joining the interlocutor in his reasoning and getting him back to the north for a more objective assessment. you also learn about early childhood education.
Directly linking to listening
Suppose our interlocutor emits an interpretation, an assumption, or a judgment that limits him in resolving his problem. In that case, we will use these clarifying questions to gather the criteria on which rests his limitation.
Using the language compass avoids engaging in sterile exchanges, where everyone speaks, but no one understands each other. For example, if a person says, "nobody likes me here," we could use the compass rather than answer him, "but yes, we like you," "but you do nothing to fit in," or else "stop complaining." In this example, the statement "nobody likes me here" is a judgment. We locate east of the compass, which tells us the most effective clarifying questions to bring it back north. We could then ask how this disinterest manifests itself, what other people are doing, and which causes them to think they are not appreciated.
Structuring of questions
- In what specific situations does the person not feel appreciated (when, where, how many times)?
- What exactly did the others say or do?
- If it solved the problem, what would indicate that the others became pleasant?
- What would that allow the person who complains to live better, to experience?
Until two people have a concrete understanding of the problem, the advice and suggestions are unlikely to be overheard and acted superimposed by the other.
So, suppose we are tempting to complain that our child is not listening to us. In that case, we can apply the language compass to ourselves: To what specific situation do I think my child is not listening to me?? (Collection of lived experience: when? Where? How? How many times?) For example, this can be manifested because he locks himself in his room when we give him unsolicited advice during his homework. We can then reframe our thinking and actions: before giving advice, I will take the precaution of asking my child if he is OK to know my opinion.